he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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