so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
