her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
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