I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
She's just so happy...and so naked.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
