I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You took a bar mat shot.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
