You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
