Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it's like iHOP with fire
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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