Are we in a gay sports bar?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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