every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
