Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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