I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
