don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
My pussy is not your playground.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
