it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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