Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
