You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
