...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
