I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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