She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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