Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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