Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
