Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
what day is it and did you see me today?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
