Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
