I should be sponsored by Trojan
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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