so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
