I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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