For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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