No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Do you have feelings for this penis?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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