How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Randomize
