There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
