physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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