I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
