So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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