She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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