i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
