you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
