You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This baby is an asshole
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
