Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
