wanna go halves on a baby?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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