you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
