Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I cockslap morals
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
