I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
