SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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