Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
