he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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