i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
