When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
