what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
