We're like a lot better than the average bears
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
