I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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