I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
