My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
