I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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